How it All Started
I’m way down in this deep dark black hole and I can only look up. I need another hit real fast. One’s not enough. Never enough, need more and more. Can’t get enough, yeah. Give me more drugs, yeah, give me more, but it’s not enough any more. Need more and more, yeah that’s it ah. . . . feel like I’m flying now. Yeah this is great. My supplier even looks a little buzzed today. My homies here feel the pain too. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get out of this deep dark black hole. I mean hole of addiction.
As a young man, I grew up here in the Ghetto. It’s a way of life here. The pimps and Ghetto hoes all use it. It must be okay. I was raised on it. My mama and pappa they did it, they even became a pusher because it’s the thing to do. For everyone here it’s a way of life. Those other people just don’t know what they’re missing.
It’s real hot down here in my hole, and I can’t get out. There’s nothing left for me. Just get another hit. I never have enough down here in the hole. Want more and more. Oh man I feel the pain, but I just can’t get off of this high.
Me and my homies are going to the downtown area hot spot tonight yeah, that’s the newest place in town where all the druggies hang out . Yeah, I got my seat. Got to try the different drugs to see what I like the most. Me and my homies heard there was a new drug on the street. Just want a little hit. Yeah, this is so, so hot.
Hot Spot Downtown
Me and my homies are having fun tonight. (tee hee hee). Dancing with the hoes. Yeah, this is my life for now and forever, yeah, yeah, feel so cool. Yea, I’ll try a hit of that too. (tee hee hee). Yeah, give me one of those too. Oh, man, I am flying high now.
The Long Trip
Oh man. Where’s this trip going to? I feel weird, like I’m going in and out, yeah, that hit must have been a good one. Oh, what’s that you say? What guy on a gurney? Oh, yeah I see him, what the? Who is that? Whoa, that’s not me. What’s that I hear? “Another one that probably won’t make it”? Who are they talking about? No that’s not me. I just took a little hit that’s all. What do they mean he won’t make it. Hey guys, I’m here, I’m with it. Look at me. Or, am I? I just had a little bit of a hit on a new drug that’s all. I must be dreaming. Yeah, this is just a dream. I’ll wake up soon.
New Realm of Dimension
Man, look at all the beautiful colors, whoa and they’re in 3D. Beautiful, beautiful colors. Light streaming through and through showing so much life. I’ve never seen such beautiful colors. Whoa, what’s that from afar? What’s that big ball of light? Whoa this is really cool. There’s a man that’s walking towards me out of this orb of light. His eyes are piercing me through and through my very soul. He looks so awesome and serious. What’s all this warmth and love and peace that I feel. Who is this guy? Oh man, I think this is a cool trip. This is really a good drug.
Oh, no, this is a different trip. Who is this stranger that I see? What’s he want from me? Oh, no maybe this is something different. He looks like that guy in the ‘Book’ that I picked up in the seedy motel that we once went to. Yea, he looks like that bearded guy named Jesus. Oh man, looks like he’s getting ready to speak. He’s now stretching his arms out to me.
The Heavenly Message
Son, I’ve had you on my mind for a long time now. You’ve been living the life of this world. Get this hit, get that hit, not enough. Never satisfied. Need stuff more and more. Thinking it’s alright to do what you’ve always done in your life.
But, today I want to show you a new way of life. You see I want to show you what you’re missing. From the time you wake up in the morning to the time that you retire at night I’m going to show you a new way of life.
This is You Living the Life That I Want You to Live.
Next, the bearded man takes his hand and makes a big swoop right in front of me, just like magic, and I see myself down here on earth talking to everyone I can about Jesus and how much he loves them no matter what. I tell them about his forgiveness and all consuming love that lasts until the end of time for all. Then I see myself witnessing to everyone that I can get ahold of about the love and power of Jesus.
I see all the people down here on earth that has been touched by Jesus’ love as I go on and on to spread his love throughout the world. This is better than any high that I can go on. I can’t get enough of my Jesus. I see the faces of those I’ve touched. Jesus lets me see all the pain go away from their body as I see all this darkness that looks like black mist leave their bodies. Jesus next shows me this brilliant white light that is flowing right through them as they are blessed with his holy spirit. He actually lets me see them anew with his love. They are being born anew and will never be the same again. Never want for more. Never be alone, never want for anything evermore. Always knowing that you are forever unconditionally loved forever and ever.
Now I see him walking a little more closer to me, I guess I invited him in with my eyes as I return a loving look back to him. Do you feel him yourself, do you feel his love for you? Now, he’s close enough to touch. I feel him put his arms tightly around me and I feel all his love . I’ve never had such a heavenly hug before, have you? Do you feel him hugging you right now? Did you ask him into your heart? Do you feel like he’s never ever going to let you go, no matter what?
Back Down Here on Earth
My eyes feel so heavy. I hear the doctor saying “This one’s going to make it”. Yeah, Jesus, I’m going to make it and I’ve got you to thank.
I’m back now, and I’ll never be the same. How many Souls can I help Jesus save? I got a new hit on life.
So Many Souls
How many souls can I help Jesus save? How many can I save from the fires of you know where. I have a hard time saying that word. I’m not kidding, I really mean it. It sounds so final. I even pray for Jesus to give the people in that other place another chance, but it’s up to him as it’s his world. He knows what is best, so I also say may his will be done, amen.
Whatever Pain You May Have
I don’t know what kind of pain you are enduring here on earth, but remember there’s always another way. Jesus will take you out of your darkness and put you into his light. Just like this story where there is a young man who is living in darkness you too can go into the light and live a new life with Jesus, son of God.
No matter where you are right now you can ask upon him to deliver you from whatever problem or addiction you are having. Do you feel his warmth, peaceful, loving arms surrounding you right here right now because he’s really here with you right now in spirit. He’s the beginning and he’s the end of your life. Just call out to him he’s waiting for you.
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Author Billie Jean Kotulski
Disclosure: Billie Kotulski is not a minister. She’s just speaking from her heart.